Our education system is crumbling before our eyes and none of us are doing anything about it. Not you, not me, not the president, and especially not MTV. What, did you think I was talking about our schools? Don’t be stupid, schools don’t teach you anything important. When was the last time you used a [...]
Tag Archives: women
6 MYTHS ABOUT WOMEN
There are a lot of lies we tell ourselves. Some of us tell ourselves that we’re hilarious and charming, or that our noses aren’t that big…but these lies don’t hurt anyone until other people start to believe them…then they get dangerous. Women are good at this. I didn’t realize that until recently, when I [...]
WOMEN’S RIGHTS: I mean…how much do they really need “rights”
Today is “Equal Pay Day” in America. You might have missed it because you’re at work…but only if you’re a woman. Women didn’t see this because they were too busy working hard to earn 77% of a man’s salary. And guys…HOW HILARIOUS IS THAT? You haven’t had to put in a full day’s work [...]
ARE YOU A DOUCHEBAGGETTE? 10 REASONS YOU MIGHT BE AND DON’T EVEN KNOW IT
Welcome back to “Are you an Asshole” week! As always, my name is Kevin and I’ll be your host for the duration. I’m like Alex Trebek if Alex Trebek looked like Keanu Reeves with the style of Don Draper…Oh, and unlike Trebek, when you say “What is The Battle of Cathage”; I assume you’re [...]
WHERE THE LADIES AT? 10 Places to find single girls on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day…It’s an emotional time, isn’t it ladies? Feeling vulnerable about being single? Wondering…wishing…praying that some Prince Charming will come sweep you off your feet? I’d like you to imagine me now doing the Birdman Handrub. “Goooooood…..gooooood!!!” Fellas, the girls are ready…you can take it from here. Side Note: I should thank Eddie Francis [...]
What his Valentines Day gift means…and what she THINKS it means
Oh no! You TOTALLY forgot Valentine’s Day! Oh right…never mind: I just realized that this isn’t EVERY commercial you’ve seen over the past two weeks mocking guys for constantly forgetting Valentine’s Day and thus making it impossible to ACTUALLY forget Valentine’s Day. Ladies: No guy with a TV actually FORGETS Valentine’s Day. He just [...]
10 Things No Woman Should Do After 25
This morning, I was standing in the transit tunnel under Westlake, waiting for the train, and a girl next to me was talking on her cell phone. Now…I called her a “girl”…this “girl” was probably mid-30s and dressed professionally, but very attractive. She was a woman. And if I was single? I TOTALLY would [...]
Why Your Gender Stereotype is PROBABLY Accurate
You guys, we need to talk. Something is really bothering me…I feel violated. I’ve been helping a friend with a construction project all week, so I’ve been coming home sweaty, wearing dirt-caked Carharts, muddy boots and a dusty Detroit Tigers ballcap. Needless to say, I’ve been covered in manliness…but not the good kind that [...]
10 People I Never Want to Be Stuck On A Train With
I had a sitcomesque experience today. My train got stuck in the transit tunnel that runs underneath Downtown Seattle. Now, as the writer of a book called “The Handsome Man’s guide to Being Handsome” I’d love for the story to go something like this: I just got stuck in the train tunnel with this [...]
Is it too soon for him/her to meet your folks? (answer: yes)
I was recently talking to a girl I know, and she told me she introduced her new boyfriend to her folks after like…an hour. Okay maybe they’d been together a little longer (like…a year), but it was still WAY too soon… and here’s an infograph (which is a dope-ass way of saying “bunch of pictures [...]
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KevinSaysThings Kevin Shively"Hardware knowledge? Not necessary. But can you be aggressively condescending? Great, I see you have the required GED" -Home Depot Interview