Valentines Day can be hard can’t it? What with the rejection, fear of being alone, anxiety to live up to expectations. We’ve all got a story about how tough Valentines Day is. This one’s mine: When I was in sixth grade, I was one of the smallest kids in my class. Hard to believe, seeing [...]
Tag Archives: humor
It’s Black History Month: Do you know where YOUR black friend is?
That title was a bit misleading, and I apologize for any racial unrest it may have caused. This post isn’t about race, it’s about fashion…because black guys are the MUST HAVE accessory for spring. Black is the new black. If you didn’t know that, you’d better ask a white girl. In 2010, the hot item [...]
How To Pretend You Care
I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m SUPER talented. It’s true. I’m pretty much awesome at everything. I dance like a combination of Fred Astaire and Channing Tatum, sing like Katy Perry’s breasts, I always get the girl (she was probably yours…sorry about that), and I recite French poetry with President [...]
Why do you hate fun?
I’m sick of being told I need to grow up. I don’t need to grow up, YOU need to grow up. Girls have been telling me that since I started dating…Which is odd since I was a kid then. Yup…That’s right, I’ve been getting the ladies since kindergarten. Jealous? My early “player” status was probably [...]
I Just “liked” your “single” status baby: The Joys of Facebook Breakups
Every guy has a crazy ex-girlfriend. I don’t care if he’s a 15-year-old Dungeons & Dragons player with an affinity for poop jokes. He has a crazy ex. Some broad in second grade decided they were dating without telling him, and then when he didn’t talk to her on the bus, she called him a [...]
Life’s a Bad Romantic Comedy, So Ladies…Just Do Your Platonic Friend And Get It Over With
Girls keep trying to set me up with their friends. It’s happened three times this week. I’ve decided it’s because I’m awesome. I get it. I see where you’re coming from: I look good in earth tones, I know how to pronounce the word “nuclear” and I have sweet calf muscles. I see where you’re [...]
I’m gonna help you score mad chicks, bro!
You know what women like? A sense of humor. That’s what Cosmo says. The No. 1 thing women want is a sense of humor. Sure…if you’re awesome at it like me. But some of you aren’t as good at being funny, you need a back-up plan. So here’s a helpful list of other things you [...]
Finding Love…and by “Love” I mean “a rich girl”
You know what guys? Between student loans, rent, car payments, insurance, booze, hookers and blow (not to mention the subsequent funds for bail)…this life can get expensive! There’s gotta be a better way to go about it. Fiscal responsibility is clearly out of the question, so what other options do you have? The answer is [...]
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KevinSaysThings Kevin ShivelyWe're hiring. RT @schoeny: We treat senior hires well at @simplymeasured. We gave our new Director of Sales a supply closet office.