This morning, I was standing in the transit tunnel under Westlake, waiting for the train, and a girl next to me was talking on her cell phone. Now…I called her a “girl”…this “girl” was probably mid-30s and dressed professionally, but very attractive. She was a woman. And if I was single? I TOTALLY would [...]
Tag Archives: girls
10 Things No Man Should Do Over 25
I got into a “discussion” with my girlfriend last night. We’re moving in together soon, and APPARENTLY she wants me to box up all of my “sports toys” instead of “decorating the living room with them”. First of all, my Ken Griffey Jr. bobbleheads aren’t “sports toys”, they’re collectible figures of a childhood hero [...]
10 People I Never Want to Be Stuck On A Train With
I had a sitcomesque experience today. My train got stuck in the transit tunnel that runs underneath Downtown Seattle. Now, as the writer of a book called “The Handsome Man’s guide to Being Handsome” I’d love for the story to go something like this: I just got stuck in the train tunnel with this [...]
Girls: Is your Halloween costume ridiculous enough? Or should you be wearing less…
It’s hard to define Halloween isn’t it? hal·low·een (noun: /ˌhaləˈwēn/): The night of October 31, celebrated by children who dress in costume and solicit treats door-to-door. …No that doesn’t really do justice. hal·low·een (noun: /ˌhaləˈwēn/): The night of October 31, celebrated by dressing up in scary costumes and throwing costume parties with friends. …Almost. Not quite there though. [...]
If you’re over 25, there are only 10 women left
I wish I got married young. Haha, that’s silly. I’m just kidding. But that being said, I really hate guys who say that they “can’t imagine being married. It’d be SOO monotonous bro!” Yup…those are also the types of guys who always call you “bro”. If you’re over 25 and are complaining about how “monotonous” [...]
The Ten Most Annoying Texts You Can Get
Last night, a girl I haven’t talked to in a while sent me a text that just said “ ” No words, just a single winky-faced emoticon out of the blue. Luckily for me, I’m a MASTER at reading women, so I knew right away that a solo winky-face means “Delete my number and don’t [...]
Your girlfriend wants to “fix” you…let her.
I wear cardigan sweaters. Argyle ones. There…I said it. That felt good. Why did I feel that was important to tell you? I’ll get to that. Oh! Also important: Sometimes, in the winter, I rock a scarf and a trendy pea coat. I have a decorative globe next to an artsy photograph on my bookshelf [...]
Hey dude…stop talking
I make a lot of jokes on here about how women talk too much, and I want to take this opportunity to set the record straight…you totally do. But ladies, it’s not your fault that you think you’re interesting. Since you were 18, you’ve had guys pumping drinks into you and saying “Oh that’s SUPER [...]
Profile of a Stalker: How to find “crazy” in a haystack
Shhhhhh! Be verrrry verrry quiet! I’m trying to keep a low profile because I have a friend at my house hiding from a stalker. Also, I wanted to say “be verrrrry verrry quiet” because I’ve been watching Loony Tunes and Elmer Fudd’s accent is super fun to do. Try it. I SAID TRY IT. Done? [...]