I feel like we’ve learned so much from each other haven’t we? You’ve learned countless ways to be better than you are, how to get the ladies, how to avoid responsibility, and how to succeed in the business world…and I’ve learned that I look great in my new Dockers Alphas (rolling out in stores around [...]
Archive | July, 2011
Do I help you TOO much or just enough?
Guys, I had a traumatic revelation this weekend, and I feel like I need to sit you down and have a talk with each of you…like a father figure who lost his temper for the first time and is explaining to the kids that he was yelling because the Seahawks lost, not because he doesn’t [...]
IS SHE CRAZY? (answer: probably)
I’d like to switch things up a little today and tell you a story. This morning, while riding up to my office, two girls got on the elevator in the middle of their conversation. They were cute, so naturally my ears perked up, and the first thing I heard was “I’m just sick of his [...]
Maxed Out: Enough with the gym fellas
Remember when men were men? They were strong from building things and fighting wars and eating giant legs of mutton off the bone? What happened to all the MEN? Am I right ladies? It must be so hard to find a good one. Okay enough of this touchy feely crap. In fact, THAT’S the problem [...]
Wait….WE’RE the future? America is in trouble.
Our generation must be a SERIOUS letdown to the The Most Interesting Man in the World… Stay thirsty my friends.
Are You the Office Hero or the Office Villain?
What’s up guys. How’s your morning been? Let me guess, you got to work, grabbed a cup of coffee, sat down and started collating data or calling clients right? Not a bad Thursday morning…mine’s been pretty similar: I came into work, filled my cup of delicious Tully’s Breakfast Blend Medium Roast, sat down at my [...]
LADIES: How to Tell if Your First Date is a Murderer
Hey, have any of you ladies ever been murdered? No? That’s good. But you should be aware that it could happen at any time. You could be walking down the street, you could be sitting on the No. 7 Metro that always attracts violence…or you could even be on a date with who you thought [...]
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KevinSaysThings Kevin ShivelyWe're hiring. RT @schoeny: We treat senior hires well at @simplymeasured. We gave our new Director of Sales a supply closet office.