You know what women like? A sense of humor. That’s what Cosmo says. The No. 1 thing women want is a sense of humor. Sure…if you’re awesome at it like me. But some of you aren’t as good at being funny, you need a back-up plan. So here’s a helpful list of other things you [...]
Archive | January, 2011
Finding Love…and by “Love” I mean “a rich girl”
You know what guys? Between student loans, rent, car payments, insurance, booze, hookers and blow (not to mention the subsequent funds for bail)…this life can get expensive! There’s gotta be a better way to go about it. Fiscal responsibility is clearly out of the question, so what other options do you have? The answer is [...]
Show me your artificial enzyme and I’ll show you mine…
A team of UW scientists recently built an artificial enzyme. When I read that, my team was sitting around debating whether or not strip clubs use this “leather-scented air freshener” we found online and whether or not it masks the odor of daddy issues.
Video Games and Your Kid’s Brain
I was just listening to some group complaining on the radio about how video games can have an adverse affect on kids, and I gotta say that I agree: If it wasn’t for my mom banning video games from our house, I would have never taken the time to make nunchucks and ninja stars from [...]
Charlie Sheen Apologizes!
Dear America, My publicist and the studio tell me that what I did was wrong. You know…the drugs, hookers and showing up to work late whenever I want because they’re still gonna pay me 3-million an episode. Oh, not to mention my splurge and porn star orgy at the AVNs last week. So I’m dearly, [...]
Glitter and the Downfall of America
I’d say that in a given work day, 65-75% of my time is dedicated to mentally preparing my game-plan for the apocalypse (zombie or nuclear, doesn’t matter…I have both). The other 25-35% of the time? I’m pretty much just beat-boxing in my mind. But every now and then, I stop my mind from racing and [...]
Viral Video
Wow…I just had to make a really awkward phone call. I’m not even sure if I should have said anything, but I always feel like honesty is the best policy : “Hey Becky…look there’s no easy way to say this…and I’m sorry…but I have a viral video…Yeah, it was Youtube…nothing serious, just a funny dance; [...]
-
KevinSaysThings Kevin ShivelyI just said outloud to a real person "hashtag: she loves fat dudes"...I think I need to say 10 Hail Marys and quit my social media job now. -
KevinSaysThings Kevin Shively"Our waitress's dress is very low cut" -Shannon & Carly. "What? what waitress? I didn't even see where these drinks came from" -Me & John